Editorial,

Television personality Paula Dean was recently "called out" for comment's she had made 30 or so years ago.  A racial slur, according to some. My opinion, slow news day?, find something to take the attention away from the "real" news, how did this become news??
 Okay, so it started me thinking.  I know, it is dangerous when I start thinking but all too often it happens. 
 If you want my opinion,( and if you don't, now is the time to stop reading,) what she said or even who she was that long ago is of no matter.  What matters is who she is now and what she is doing now.  She spoke up recognizing that what she said might have been hurtful and now she realizes that and showed remorse for whatever harm she might have done. So let it go!!! 
My goodness, where is there one among us who hasn't said hurtful, harmful words, either intentionally or inadvertently?   We have all hurt someone else, at some time with poorly thought out statements.  Why does this matter with Paula Dean deserve another minute of attention?
My beautiful daughter came home in tears one day more than thirty years ago because another girl in her class made fun of her beautiful long blonde curls.  Were those taunts and that teasing less hurtful because they were not race based?  I don't think so.  A child can be teased because he/she is smaller/larger than other children in the class, or she/he is too "fat"/skinny, has asthma, diabetes or other physical condition, has physical scars, is shy, or whatever.  There are hundreds of "differences" for which a person can be "put down" other than race. Differences that are no more controllable than the color of ones skin. There are always those who think they can build up themselves by pulling others down.
I can do nothing about how others act, how or who they "tease", "torment" or disrespect.  What I can do is help those that I interact with to understand that such actions and words tell me about the person who is speaking, not about the person of whom they speak.  
A teacher who would tell a child "you are stupid, you will never amount to anything"  is letting us know, what kind of a teacher he/she is.  The statement reflects not on the student but on the teacher.
When we can't stop those who would behave this way from doing what they will  we need to try to focus an equal amount of energy on teaching that while we can't control "the other person"  we can control our reaction to "the other person".  
Years ago we were taught a little poem, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."   Okay, we all know words do hurt, but if we learn to process those words properly we can soften their impact.  If we tell ourselves we will not let them hurt us we CAN make it so.  We can make that choice if we are determined.  Maybe we will have to "fake it til we make it" but we can do that.  And it will not be easy, but perhaps easier than the alternative, allowing them to damage us with their words.

 If Paula Dean or anyone else uses the N word, or any other offensive word, NO ONE, needs to take it personally  No one HAS to take offence.  That is their choice!!